Ludacris- Last of a Dying Breed
I'm out of my comfort zone here, I stay behind the scenes, give limited access, and maintain a low profile. It’s a struggle to be private and visible business wise. I’m not an influencer, I'm sharing pieces of me as the spirit moves. Just like my pics, these pieces are in the moment, authentic, raw, and unfiltered.
The black sheep that's not for sale, not interested in being a part of your clique, nor am I interested in winning any popularity contests.
Here's the "short" list of where you can find the fashion based talent that I've mentored and developed via my community outreach initiative (DE-FI):
"Started from the bottom, now we're here" ~Drake
1. Versace
2. Saint Jesus
3. Saral Zens
4. Savage x Fenty
5. Nike
6. Kohl's
7. Michael Kors
8. ASOS
9. When Smoke Clears
10. Marc Jacobs
11. J.C. Penny
12. Meijer
13. Ulla Johnson
14. Calvin Klein
15. Milan Fashion Week
16. New York Fashion Week
17. Paris Fashion Week
18. Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week
19. InStyle Magazine
20. Vogue Magazine
21. Vogue Italia
22. Ebony Magazine
23. Ellements Magazine
24. Shape magazine
25. FIDM
26. Kent State
27. UC DAAP
28. SCAAD
29. Ross Dress for Less
30. L Brands
31. Forbes Under 30 Fellows
32. The Grammy's
33. The Oscars
34. The Tribeca Film Festival
35. ABC
36. Hallmark
37. HBO
38. Netflix
39. Broadway
40. Art Hearts Fashion
41. Council of Fashion Designers of America
42. Samuel Adams
43. Adidas
44. Women's Wear Daily
45. Sephora
46. White House Black Market
47. Carters
48. Harper's Bazaar
49. Under Armor
50. The Rockettes
"We're gonna continuously be questioned because we do things that have never been done,that's the way our lives have presented themselves. We do things that have never been done, and that makes people uncomfortable. When you see a confident Black man, sitting up there talking his talk and walkin his walk coaching 75% African-Americans in the locker room that's kind of threatening. Oh they don't like that, but guess what, we gonna consistently do what we do cause I'm here and I ain goin nowhere and about to get comfortable in a minute... What we accomplished out there today, aint none of y'all believe that, maybe a couple of y'all who knew me and know how I get down, they know I'm a winner and we gonna end up winning..." ~THE Deion Sanders aka Coach Prime
You can read more about my professional career HERE. In the meantime cues the music...
"When I was 17, I did what people told me, did what my father said, and let my mother mold me, but that was long ago. I'm in control, never gonna stop..." Ugh, umm...inserts looooonnnng sigh because well...right now, at this exact moment, if my autobiography were written, it would be called "I Don't Know". Simply put, that's exactly where I am in life. Not nearly at a cross roads and not quite old enough for a mid-life crisis (to be clear, I'm not in crisis, so no need to ring the alarm). In fact, I'm quite happy, whole, and complete, plus I get my 3 meals in a day with snacks in between, all 7-8 hours of sleep at night in a comfortable bed, and I have a great support system.
I know exactly who I am, what I want, and I have a plan in place to get, take, and earn everything I want and deserve. I've done the Corporate America thing, I've served my community, I've traveled, I've partied like a rock star, I've had money to blow, I've had no money to blow, I've partied with a few rock stars, I've WAG'd it out a couple of times, and I've slowly but surely checked each goal I've ever set off of my list and working on others.
I guess it's the where I am, that I gu-ess, I'm sorta kinda, might be trying to figure out, however in all honesty, I'm not sure if that's it either. This feeling, this space, this level that I'm currently occupying isn't unfamiliar to me, I've been here before, in my late 20's, my mid-thirties, and there I was again in 2022 at the age of 42, navigating this...fill in the blank. (shrugs shoulders). Actually, maybe that's it...it's the "fill in the blank" part...I think.
This could be the start of a book...I have been encouraged since I was in high school by my teachers to write book. As an adult my friends have often told me how they enjoy reading my post on FB...I'm not sure if it's the sheer randomness of my post or the "you had to be there" situations that I often find myself in posts! lol I've been through some things, let's just say blood isn't thicker than water in my world...you can only survive 3 days without water, I've survived most of my life without most of my blood relatives. Whenever I've been thirsty...it's rarely been my blood to hand me a drink. I pick my family like I pick my fruit. #Selective #ItsAllRelative...Yeah, just follow my (DE-FI)antly blog, as I put the pieces together.
I don't know...Maybe I was just bored and ready for a new challenge and what better challenge was there for me than to open my life up for the world to see. Well, it's now 2023, and I really sucked at opening my life up for the public to see, I only wrote 2 blogs last year and I'm sure I was rambling in both of them! lol I had 365 days and posted on my IG 38 of those days...my FB page is partially public,I still limit some of my post to friends only. (Got my friends list down to 500 from 2500+; goal 300 or less)...I do quarterly timeline floods on my LinkedIn page...Then there's TikTok...I've only TikTok'd twice...not really my thang! lol(Shrugs shoulders)
Notoriously private, I'm trying to step out from behind the scenes and into position (whatever position that is! lol). In 2022, I lived a fairly fast paced and full life; between taking care of an elderly mother who has MS and is dependent on a wheelchair; working a full time job in higher education that had me traveling for weeks at a time; to running an international brand that also has me on the road; to being an unexpected college student again; to having unexpected surgeries on my jaw; and a breast cancer scare...2022 was a lot to juggle, and then there was The Rona constantly interrupting things, yes, I caught the Rona again in 2022...Then there's that whole tip-toeing back into the dating scene...Oh yeah, and did I mention I was in an 8 month long battle with the new owners of the mall where my business was located? They went M.I.A. on me, and I had to threaten them with a lawsuit, they let me out of my lease at no cost in September.
Yet here I am attempting once again to add one more thing to my plate because something deep inside of me is pushing me to write it all out. I'm not interested in winning a popularity contest nor am I looking to become an "influencer". However, I'd like to think that everything that I do has a positive impact on my surroundings and I know that when I move, it influences how others move. I'm not really sure how long I'll do this...I'll leave that up to the spirit of discernment. When time allows, I will get back to blogging my story unapologetically.
The quickest way to get on my bad side is to waste my time or resources. If "don't start none...won't be none" was a person, I'd be the poster child; I literally mind my business and keep to myself. I'm not only a member of the INFJ Club, I'm the President and a straight shooting Sagittarius to the core. You'll be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't like me because I did them wrong; in fact, I can guarantee that you will NOT find anyone that will tell you that I'm messy, I lied to them, stole from them, or cheated them.
You will however, find people that don't like me because I'm not afraid to speak up. You will find people that don't like me because I held them accountable for their actions or lack thereof. You will find people that will tell you that they don't like me because I have clear, healthy, and solid boundaries. You will find people who will tell you that they don't like me because I saw them for who they are and they couldn't get over on me. You will find people who will tell you that they don't like me because they only heard one side of a story (which by the way, is the side that they wanted to believe, they NEVER asked me my side). And of course you will find people who don't like me...well...just because. (shrugs shoulders)
Some of the titles and adjectives that are attached to me include: Caregiver. Farmer. Higher Education Specialist. Community Engager. Rule Breaker. Disruptor. Fashion Maven. Visionary. Business Model. Industry Builder. Mogul. In short, I AM Caressa Brown. I can do ALL things. My faith in God is more powerful than any weapon formed against me. Welcome to my world...world! Strap on that seat belt and join me as I re(DE-FI)ne life after 40, as a single woman re-entering the dating scene on the search for my soulmate and man of my dreams, one distant, in your face, rule breaking,exhausting, and disruptive moment at a time. (DE-FI)ing all odds, expectations, and the status quo...while occasionally consulting with my circle for advice! lol #LifeLesson I'm not in control! lol #AreYouReady #DontWaitForPermission #BeDisruptive #WhatDoYouDEFI
Fully focused during my Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Man/Woman of the Year (DE-FI) Cancer Fundraiser.
Caressa L. Brown
I started writing this waaaaaay back in the Myspace days. I used to blog, I absolutely LOVE writing as you'll soon find out. I started writing about my self-discoveries in my 20's when I first found myself in this space. I could not (DE-FI)ne who I was, what I wanted, hell, I couldn't even tell you what I liked, or what the food that I just ate tasted like because life was coming at me so fast that I was just going through the motions just to keep my head above water.
I was too scared to slow down, because slowing down would force me to see the mess. Then one day, after speaking with my then business mentor about what my goals are, I was told that before I can reach those goals, I need to peel back the layers of my life like an onion. That was about 14 years ago and every year I take note of things I've learned about myself, people, and life in general; I take a selfie in that moment and on my birthday, I add all of the lessons that I learned over the past 365 days to my #WhoAmI note. I never delete anything; I just add a new layer. This was last updated on my 43rd birthday, November 29, 2023; so without further ado...
"Dear World,
Let’s see where shall I start? I guess I should start off by saying that there are no pieces of me to figure out. I Am who I appear to be: casual, down to earth, college educated AND street smart. I Am respectful, driven, twisted, FIESTY, Flirty, open, INquisitive, LOVING, compassionate, complicated, Filterless, AND OVERwhelming. I'm non-conforming by nature and went ROGUE long before Sarah Palin made it a best seller. In the words of Shirley Chisholm, I’m UNbought and UNbossed and I’ll add UNmoved and UNbothered. My occupation is not giving a damn about the status quo. AND I can carry on a conVersation with just about anyone, anytime, and about anything. The SIMPLEST things in life cause me to smile. I'm NOT impressed by STATUS FYI so there is NO need to try and keep up appearances for me and BELIEVE me when I say, I won't put forth any effort to be anyone other than myself for you...and that means the GOOD, the Bad, and the ugly. I am the exact same person where ever I go and regardless of my audience...
I AM direct, you can say I'm opinionated...it's fine with me. I Am assertive AND aggressive; I AM NOT A BITCH! I Am kind and generous, yet far from being a doormat. I Am strong, however, not afraid to show my weakness. I Am confident AND still, I do HAVE INsecurities. I Am a Caregiver. I Am an Engager. I Am a Rule Breaker. I Am Mold Maker. I Am a Builder. I Am a Disruptor. I DO NOT tolerate: bigotry, DIShonesty, apathy, infidelity, ignorance OR hate. There’s no middle ground with me when it comes to matters of ethics; I don’t know how to just lay down and be quiet in the face of injustice; I will not fall in line. Everything else is negotiable. It's not my goal to be more religious, there are already too many "religious" people in the world as it is who use their "religion" to cause hurt and harm on those who don't look like, sound like, live like, or think like them. BEing a C-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N is my FAITH and Christ is my guide to living and BECOMING more spiritual...in my life's experiences, I've learned that the secret to spiritual success is UNflinching fearlessness that forges ahead during the most trying fight to finish my race. I DON'T have to SHOUT, or JUMP about, or SCREAM real loud to prove it to you, just know that I Do SERVE, WORSHIP, and THANK GOD DAILY.
My page is open to YOUR interpretation and is subject to YOUR perception. It is what YOU make of it. I Am NOT here to make sense of OR justify any of its content for YOU. State YOUR opinion. Express YOUR shock. Satisfy YOUR curiosity.BE amused.BE appalled.BE tickled.BE entertained. AND if YOU don't like what YOU see…Then BE on YOUR way... I have ZERO interest in doing numbers and no intent in participating in performance pacification for your comfortability. I don’t know how to simply rock the boat; I’ll capsize the whole ship. My skills and talents are creative and unique. My thoughts are nerdy, analytical, visionary, and innovative. In my moments of silence my mind is at its loudest. I'm constantly thinking and listening...when I'm thinking, I practice critical thinking, when I'm listening, I do it actively. Seeking self-awareness is a favorite hobby of mine; I am in a constant state of self-examination to make sure that who I say I am, aligns with who and where I want to be as ordered by God. In a world full of Orpah's, I choose to be Ruth and walk in my purpose, Godfidently.
When the devil couldn’t get to me, he went to my circle… I'm like a sponge, I absorb my surroundings, therefore, I am mindful of my surroundings and I make no hesitations when it comes to blocking people and things from entering my space; my circle is small. I'm guilty of giving people more chances than they deserve, then villainized often when I've chiseled my final line in stone. The peace I feel with their absence in my life is worth being the villain in their story. I don’t waste any energy trying to correct any false narratives and lies told about me…instead, I people watch, make mental notes on how people move with half a story or themade up story. Then I adjust accordingly, sit back with my head held high, and grab me some popcorn while I watch them hang themselves with their own rope. My toxic trait is watching their harvest metastasize from the virulent seeds that they sowed when they chose to lie.
I’ve got people who love me because I Am me and people who hate me for the same reason. Bottom line, if EYE don't fool with you; it's YOUR fault. AINT NO DEVIL IN HELL GONNA WALK ON ME. IF you put your hands on me...there WILL be a FIGHT. I've been called a wolf in sheep’s clothing and I AM. I AM complex, I AM powerful, I AM intuitive, I AM instinctive, I AM intelligent...so yeah, I possess wolf like qualities. I AM is MY shepherd, and before I AM positioned me to lead...I FIRST HAD to FOLLOW...I AM also instilled sheep like qualities in me...I AM meek, I AM quiet, I AM gentle, I AM VALUABLE. Those who called me a wolf in sheep's clothing meant it for evil because they failed at controlling me. They thought that my trusting attribute and willingness to SERVE meant that I possessed the "weaker" characteristics of a sheep…you know, defenseLESS, lacKING direction, unable to get UP withOUT their help, unABLE to carry burdens, and would settle for LESS.
The fact of the matter is, it was the trials and tribulations that were placed in my path that I’ve learned that sometimes evil works for God and before anyone is allowed to try me, they had to get my Father’s permission. They unknowingly helped clear my path towards greatness. I like to call this my Hedge Fund. ;-) My haughtiness often offends some because I know that MY GOD is bigger than their pharaoh, therefore I have no problems with burning bridges and showing the other wolf like characteristics that I possess...SAVAGE AND VICIOUS. Every trial is a gentle reminder that God only gives his toughest battles to His strongest warriors to either help them advance to the next level or stay where you are; trials are not to be used as a crutch to limp through life with. I AM NOT a victim. I don’t have any curses on me generational or otherwise, you can’t curse what God has blessed. Never complain. Never explain. I Am not Michelle Obama, if you want to go low, I have no problem meeting you where you are…not because you have the power to take me out of my character; it’s very much a part of my character to be the messenger and that means sometimes you have to get on the level that they understand. So yeah, I own my wolf status boldly and proudly because unlike the more powerful tiger and lion, the wolf doesn't perform for the circus…
Please remember, GOD closed the Red Sea on pharaoh's army for reason...so if you give me a reason to have a lighter in one hand and lighter fluid in the other...what happens next is the God in me… Don’t hurt yourself trying to hurt me because I move forward in faith and I don't look back...Godfidently knowing that what and who I left behind were NOT attached to MY destiny. I thank my Goliath's before I slay them. Knowing that there would be no David without a Goliath…I'm also a stone collector. I’m uncompromising in my ethics and intrusive in places that are not inclusive. I sit confidently at the table prepared for me in the presence of my enemy and take back what they stole from me. I keep the ones I love and respect close and keep those who try to stop me wondering how in spite of their best efforts, I AM STILL HERE. What would have killed them ONLY made me stronger. I smile in the face of Karma and greet her with a hug, she's been good to me. I sow my seeds with intent, knowing that even those seeds that land outside of my path still benefit from the runoff of nurture, care, and advocacy that I provide for those seedlings growing along my path.
I've been told by those that know me best that I'm like a little butterfly that flutters around flower to flower. I'm not really sure what that means though...some days I think it means that I'm constantly on the move. Then there are days that I feel that it means that as I flutter from flower to flower, I do so with the intention of pollinating and helping things to grow...then there's the theory that a butterfly's flutter can create a tornado because I've been told that I give people exactly 2.5 seconds to get out of my path after you've created the perfect condition for the perfect storm...hmm...maybe it's all three...or maybe...just maybe...they are reminding me of the struggles butterflies must endure as caterpillars...with struggles comes persistence, and with persistence comes endurance, and with endurance comes the strength needed to spread your wings and fly...and I AM FLYING! #WithAndAgainstTheWind
I don't fancy myself a GOAL smasher...in fact I'm quite the opposite. I've tripped, I've stumbled, and I've fallen over every goal I've ever set. I rarely finish in first place or when I think I'll be finished or when other say I should be finished. I do, however, pick myself up, yes sometimes with the support of others, I dust myself off, assess my wounds and I keep going...through the pain, doubt, fear and naysayers. In saying that, sometimes I've also had to walk away from some goals and wait for my next steps to be ordered and in doing so, I've accomplished EVERY single GOAL that I've set, slowly...SURELY...and on GOD's timing. AND for that, I'm grateful for all of the bitter losses I've taken and will take just to have a taste of the sweetness of ultimate Victory. I AM patient, I AM a listener, I AM a survivor, I AM a victor, I AM a success, I AM a curse breaker, I AM door knocker, I AM a truth seeker, I AM a bold asker, I AM able, I AM full, I AM whole. Born of God, I’ve OVERcome the world. My MIND, My DRIVE, My CREATIVITY, topped with the Spirit of Discernment AND obedience to follow the steps that have been ordered makes me the most DANGEROUS WOman that you WILL EVER MEET, NO forces of HELL can EVER stop ME; YOU WILL lose sleep trying.
I’m not into being compared to diamonds because a diamond is only worth the value that someone else has assigned to it. Moving in silence is not in my DNA, I move out loud and proud because my faith is bigger than a mustard seed and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop what God has ordained for me. I have a loud laugh, wild side, sparkle in my eye, flash in my smile, quick wit, loving heart, way with words, hidden side, and untapped potential. I AM the non-attention seeking, quietest person in the room whose presence alone speaks volumes and intimidates others with an IN YOUR FACE boldness that doesn’t need to be stated because it’s already known. I AM often dismissed and left out of the conversation; NOT because I lack merit, I simply threw out their playbook and did things my way as ordered by I AM, so I’m okay with being cast aside because those who have been cast aside are the chosen. Rest assured when I move, people pay attention, take notes, and level up.
I am a goofball who loves to Laugh OUT Loud and have fun. I LIVE, love, and OBSERVE life in the moment, from a distance, in YOUR face, quietly, UNapologetically, loudly, AND proudly. When life hands me lemons, I don't make lemonade, I take those lemons and squirt the juice right in life’s eyes. I love to comfort the afflicted but have a habit of afflicting the comfortable. If you come at me sideways, I'll come at you straight every time. I sometimes have a problem with authority and I rarely ever do what I’m told, ESPECIALLY if it requires me to compromise who I AM. I love being the dumbest person in the room, it’s my preferred method of growth, knowledge, and wisdom.
Now some may read this and think that I Am insanely wonderful, others may say that I Am just INSANE. Simply put, it's like Eminem said in that song "I Am WHATever YOU say I Am". My ONLY Promise to YOU is unless YOU have a HEAVEN or HELL to put ME in...I WON’T TRY TO CHANGE MYSELF OR YOUR MIND to make YOU feel better, being liked isn't MY priority. NOthing about me or my page has been or will be spared knowing that NO matter what I SAY or DO, SOMEone will dissect, discuss, analyze and send IT to forensics. So I OFFer just ONE WARNing...Like any drug I’m not for everyone, serious side effects may occur AND vary. Consult YOUR therapist before trying to figure me out BECAUSE I have A curious MIND, THIRSTY lips, HUNGRY eyes, AND a FULL mouth…I’M NOT YOUR TYPICAL ANYTHING!~
Sincerely,
Caressa-Lynn Frankie "Skeeter" Brown aka #MissBrown"
Caressa L. Brown, Owner/Director of (DE-FI) Global INC and President of the Art of (DE-FI)ance.
Muhammad Ali
Copyright © 2024 (DE-FI)antly Caressa - All Rights Reserved.
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